Ever since we ran the first High Value Banter class back a couple of years ago, our fans and followers have been fascinated with this concept of bantering and learning how to banter with a guy.. Women in our Facebook group have been posting their own lines of banter as well as sharing their successes with banter.. 2. They felt intuitively that it was the right thing to do. Take this quiz and get a custom report based on your unique personality and goals. Tip 3 - The Best Flirty Questions To Ask On Tinder. Try a meme or link to a funny article. Getting to know a new guy should be fun! As it also, will give him a chance to ask you a few questions and show his interest in you. One way to do this over text is to ask him an open ended question. "You have such strong attention to detail in everything you do. It looks beautiful there.. You get 100% free personalized tips based on your results. If Abby or Tim were very self-conscious about their looks, this banter would be hurtful. Learning different ways to start a conversation with a guy and approach him through text is an essential part of modern dating. After you initiate, you have to give him the space that will allow him to come to you. Its about you expressing your playfulness in order to bring the playfulness out in others. Ron: Whatever, everyone likes Cookie Monster! In this case, Kate is driving quickly in the car with her friend Matt. And yes, sending off that first text can feel intimidating. Number 2: Banter Is How Men Naturally Communicate With Each Other. If youd like to see some examples of this, I gave some in my article on How To Tell A Guy You Like Him. Banter can definitely be a gateway to flirting since it's all about fun, easy conversation. Below are several examples of how to banter: Heres an example of a couple who have been happily dating for a few months. However, you dont want to over do it. Email the order confirmation to SocialSelf to get your unique coupon code. According to a study based on research from the The Kinsey Institute (2). Probably not what you had in mind when conversing with your crush. Its because playfulness is the prerequisite for any emotional attraction to exist. The best you have are words on a screen and some emojis. They were pieces of modern art! Which helps to ensure that your conversation flows. As such these women were much more reluctant to try banter out in the real world. Women in our Facebook group have been posting their own lines of banter as well as sharing their successes with banter. Sure, you're just trying to prod him to see if he's around and wants to text, but there are so many more creative ways to get his attention. You want to come across as cool and confident, without being cheesy. It will be easy to get a quick response from him. Matt [grinning]: Psychologists say its not healthy to obsess about stuff that happened ages ago, Kate. Texting is a great first step for touching base with that guy youre crushing on. Whether youll get an answer is another matter. In this example, the girl is signaling that she finds the guy attractive, but she qualifies the compliment so that it doesnt come across as overeager or creepy. So she decided to try this example we gave her. Texting is a great way to signal interest to a guy that youve had your eye on. In real life, smiling and saying a simple Hi is about all you need to get a conversation started. Laughter is the best medicine. Humor is a great way to bond, and men love a sharp, funny, lighthearted woman. Avoid Serious Topics. He will move the relationship forward by making plans and taking you on dates. If you know hes into music, ask which album you should listen to next. SPECIAL REPORT: How to Become the Worlds Most Attractive & Feminine Goddess (Even if you have no self esteem or no man has ever paid you any attention) CLICK HERE to download it at no cost. You, know, I can talk faster than I can type. 27 Fun and flirty ways to start a conversation with a guy over text. Yes, role playing is one of the truly enjoyable aspects of bantering. Related 130 Flirty Text Messages To Send To A Guy That You Just Met (Best Of The Best Examples). Which could potentially send him the wrong message. In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email success story from a viewer who says he has listened to my How To Be A 3% Man audiobook so many times that he's lost count. The value of the unexpected and how that sense of surprise and uncertainty pulled the male character in and created a sense of emotional attraction. CLICK here to discover the one thing you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say! What does this mean? I often see articles recommending that you use someones name in a text. Tip 6 - Give Her The Gift Of Chasing You. Or mention a hobby or interest that you have in common. Take a picture of something fun or cute and tell him it made you think of him. They are very different in nature. But the next best thing is of course, mans best friend. You're really not killing it with the texting banter. If you want to improve your social skills, self-confidence, and ability to connect with someone, you can take our 1-minute quiz. "I swear, I love you more and more every single day.". Get your complimentary guide, How To Get A Guy To Call You Instead Of Texting (10 Ways + Examples), Dating Someone New Around The Holidays (Your Questions Answered + Gift Ideas! Here is How To Banter With Men To Build Attraction. And the final exhibit in flirty banter examples. In this guide, youll learn the basic rules of banter. The guy that only texts you late at night is in all likelihood one you will want to cross off your list of potential suitors. That means that your text to him should be engaging and interesting. Well, except when I'm underneath you. Make some small talk first to get a sense of their personality. Not only is this unkind and unethical, but its unlikely to work. You dont want to be doing that every time. Kai Lawrence, later identified as Caleb Lawrence McGillvary (born September 3, 1988) from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada . Use the link below to get 20% off your first month at BetterHelp + a $50 coupon valid for any SocialSelf course. Is that thing girls do? David Morin is the founder of SocialSelf. Abby: I dont think I want to take advice from someone who doesnt even have any hair. If this is you, then remember this:The fear you feel is not related to the banter specifically. Don't Text Paragraphs. This acknowledges the other persons joke, which will make them feel good. If you were to be a fly on the wall and listen to how men communicate with each other, especially in the absence of women (ie in the male change rooms around the world), youd be shocked. 1. But one important word of advice: keep the idea of playfulness in your mind. Rachel and Hamid have hung out a few times. Privacy policy. First example from a member of ourswe will call her R. Effects of Humor Production, Humor Receptivity, and Physical Attractiveness on Partner Desirability, Humor ability reveals intelligence, predicts mating success, and is higher in males, Public perceptions of negging: lowering womens self-esteem to increase the male attractiveness and achieve sexual conquest, 100 Jokes to Tell Your Friends (And Make Them Laugh), 21 Tips To Be More Fun And Less Boring To Be Around, 25 Tips to be Witty (If Youre Not a Quick Thinker), How to be Funny in a Conversation (For Non-Funny People), https://socialself.com/blog/books-making-conversation/, TIME Magazine, The Chicago Tribune, The Hill, MSN,WebMD. Him: I know! [3] Good banter is much more fun, and it leads to a deeper connection. Remember this isn't an interview, but more of getting to know one another. document.getElementById("ak_js_1").setAttribute("value",(new Date()).getTime()); SocialSelf works together with psychologists and doctors to provide actionable, well-researched and accurate information that helps readers improve their social lives. The only reason we were able to make this class publicly available at no cost to you is because we have thousands of women world wide trusting our advice and becoming members of our paid courses. To flirt with a guy over text, it's about being subtle, mysterious, a bit illusive, teasing him, being playful and building some anticipation. Let him know that he needs to put in the effort too. Related: How To Tell If A Guy Likes You (6 Signs & 1 Test). Banter helps you to have a reality check where you can ask yourself whether this man is truly attentive and attuned to you, or does he have his own ulterior motives? It can be scary. Its about the connection. I'm still wearing that smile you gave me. Not just sitting around waiting around for him to reply. If everyone is smiling, youre probably doing OK. Dont banter unless youre willing to be teased in return. The truth is that both the fun and the stress of texting . 7. In many ways, bantering with a crush is the same as bantering with a friend. Now let's talk about texts that will make him obsess over you. I wanted to show you this role playing flirty banter scene from the movie Honest Thief (2020). The reason being that most men just don't dig on texting very much. But, it also shows major confidence,and you arent afraid to go after what you want. Therefore, most Aquarius men really have the hang of instant messaging and may even prefer it to face to face interaction. And you now know 27 amazing ways to start a conversation with a guy over text. CLICK HERE to find out with this specially crafted quiz! Guy: What do you mean, probably one of?!. So the last thing you would want to do as a woman is to dismiss banter as childish or useless. This is the mindset you need to adhere when you are in a banter. However, avoid sending just a string of emojis as a conversation starter. Perfect for the guy you just met, 20 questions, Read More 200+ Flirty Questions To Ask A Guy (& Be Irresistible)Continue, In The News: How Coaching With Deanna Cobden Leads Singles To Love I was super thrilled to be interviewed for datingadvice.com on how I help, Read More In The News: Deanna Cobdens Feature Interview On Dating AdviceContinue, Wonder if He could be The One? And you, of course. Texts are getting fewer. He appreciates being flirted back with, so go ahead and banter - you'll create quite a lot of heat, which he . That in my humble opinion is the true meaning of banter. This means light touches on their forearm, shoulder, or knee. Without further ado, here are the signs he lost interest over text. Also, stop saying lol unless you're truly laughing. So take a deep breath and focus on doing something good for yourself until you hear back. You dont know whats going on with him. Absolutely. 4. The promise of this course is for you to effortlessly find exciting matches, spellbinding conversations and exhilarating real life dates with high value men through a BRAND NEW approach to online dating (even if youve lost all faith and your self esteem has been torn apart by dating apps!). Kidding [playful emoji here]. - Be Funny. Sometimes we dont see all the red flags early because its easy to be blinded by our own fantasies and desires, coupled with our being seduced by some cunning sweet-talk from men. However, if there is mutual attraction, the final line could be a welcome acknowledgment that she likes him. And not only that, you might actually just be one of many women that hes keeping as an option. Now Hamid occasionally makes fun of her cooking skills. Plus its aways nice to show him that youve got a good sense of humor. When we talk about banter, the underlying purpose is for us to tease playfully. Ask these 3 Perfect First Date Questions As much as we might not want to admit it, first, Read More 3 Perfect Questions To Ask Him On Your First Date (Is He The One For You? Poke fun at some things he says. Days of the Hey, Hi! (4). Have you ever wondered how to respond when a guy asks you what are you looking for? in online dating? Using emojis is a fun way to help break the ice with that guy youve been crushing on. You can simply comment on something random hes written. R: Wow, you have some really nice photos! Some people are natural comedians. My intuitive response was that some women, no matter how messed up their lives may be, had secure attachment patterns from childhood, and thus intuitively get the value of banter. Remember that irony often gets lost over text. QUIZ TIME: Is your man serious about committing to you? Its OK if you cant think of something funny to say every single time. You will also be much ore able to discern other peoples intent and the value of different types of communication and connection. 14. This is how you build emotional attraction with men using banter. Say sorry and move on. . In this example, a guy and a girl are hanging out with friends in the park. You may have read articles on negging. These articles imply that making someone feel bad about themselves will make them like you. )Continue, 200 Flirty questions to ask a guy that will totally have him flirting back with you. But it could also be very exciting, and not to mention, liberating. 5 Questions To Ask A Guy To Know His Intentions. If he agrees, suggest that you go together! These days you have to be a savvy texter to stand out from the crowd. ! and the How are you? texts are just no longer an option. He shares a recent text . Make some small talk first to get a sense of their personality. (The two crucial elements of any successful and lasting intimate relationship). If a guy is complimenting you he's definitely into you! She starts bantering after his good news, implying that she wouldnt want to hang out with him anyway. The value of the unexpected and how that sense of surprise and uncertainty pulled the male character in and created a sense of emotional attraction. Or want to reply to you. If youve just started dating someone new around the holidays and are feeling a little confused about navigating the season then were, Read More Dating Someone New Around The Holidays (Your Questions Answered + Gift Ideas! Thats just how it is. It doesnt matter if right now, youre sad about what has happened to you in the past, or maybe even angry that someone has done you wrong, it will all change in the future. If they sarcastically compliment you, pretend to take it at face value and give a funny, exaggerated reply. (That would never happen with a 4 year old who is insecurely attached as they would typically shy away from this challenge.). I was surprised to know that quite a few of our subscribers didnt know what banter truly meant. (Well talk more about this later in the article.). Don't banter until you know someone. Number 3: you will get asked out a lot more by men. The same basic rules apply. Number 2: youll find it so easy to weed out the men who arent right for you. Aquarius is a sign ruled by Uranus, planet of technology! Besides being fun and a bit unexpected. Learn how to stop being awkward in our free training. Matt is known in their friend group for being a bad driver; he once pulled out of a side street onto the wrong side of the road. I have to go see it today before the twist gets spoiled! As such, I have no doubt youd intuitively know what is more valuable to you as a woman. You will more often, than not, get an answer like Good, Ok or fine.. It creates emotional attraction and emotional connection. Abby: Theres a thing called style, Tim. It was released on February 2, 2013, by a reporter from a local news station in California. If you watch a group of friends interact, youll probably hear a lot of banter. Invade his personal space. After all, anything new will feel uncomfortable at first. Ever since I started teaching the concept of High Value Banter, Ive realised that women typically group themselves into one of two groups. And here's the bad news: There's no real value for you in keeping a guy "interested". Our review board ensures that our content is accurate and up to date. What does good banter look like, and how can I do it?. Jess: Its so exhausting, going on all these dates with new guys. Guy [raises eyebrows]: Do you, like, make official Top 10 lists as a hobby? See this guide on how to be witty for tips..q-blog-references .hidden{display:none}.q-blog-references .q_show_more{cursor:pointer}, Free training: Conversation skills for overthinkers. That is people that dont have humor and easy to laugh.I threat them as they are non intelligent, total lack of seeing the humor in things. If youve already sent him a text then you must resist the urge to send anymore until he responds back to you. Then try it in a fraction of your life. Ask questions to ask a guy over text. Because ultimately aiming to be witty or clever is about proving yourself. We can definitely use sarcasm as a tool for that purpose, but lets never forget the purpose. Its also an easy way to strengthen and build on a previous connection. Do you know what your core attachment style is? Tap To Copy. Realise that your attachment patterns do not define who you are. Yes, sending the first text is bold. Contact Us: deanna@dateworks.ca, Want to meet a high quality man? So basically if you don't initiate the conversation with banter, you just inject it into conversation from time to time. Get your complimentary guide44 Places To Meet A High Quality man Click Here. CLICK HERE to discover the ONE PHRASE you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say! Or you may greatly benefit from one of our highly popular paid programs, CLICK HERE to see what we offer right now. The list is endless really. Asking a question to begin a conversation is ideal. They take the crap thrown at them and make a fertilizer out of them - they use pressure and potential failure to grow from it. I went on a few dates with a guy a bit younger than me. Besides, everyone loves to talk about their pet. But the truth is that its totally ok to message him first. Flirting via text is an art . It just didnt sit right with them. Thats just how it is, and thats just how men respond to this type of banter. Where they found a link between those who frequently use emojis with potential dates, as having more sex. Robbie: Well, its definitely one of those two. Theres room for cheesy jokes or one-liners when you banter. The downside is that its easy to overthink it. Ask him for his weekend plans. Should A Guy Youre Dating Text You Everyday? Because it requires quick thinking and wit, bantering makes you come across as intelligent and interesting. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); document.getElementById( "ak_js_2" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); I believe you have the power to attract your ideal man, have him fall head over heels in love with you, wanting to commit deeply to you and have the passionate relationship youve always dreamt about. It did a great job of connecting this man and woman and starting an interesting conversation, This lady used high value banter to start a conversation with a guy online, and as you can see, she spontaneously turned the conversation into a witty yet also flirty banter. Wanna continue this conversation on the phone?:). This is a major bonus if you are talking to someone you find attractive. They are talking about their college days. Then because its something that you are sure that he already knows the answer to. Example 2. Instead of falling flat and fading. Jess then banters back with a comment about Annas last boyfriend. Number 1: Banter Is The Prerequisite For Emotional Attraction. It isnt trading insults, putting someone down, or an excuse for being mean. After all, who doesnt like getting a funny meme? In this article, I want to give you a definitive guide as to what banter really is, (what it is not), as well as how you can use playful banter in your own life to build attraction, build connection and rapport with the men of your choice. Nash: Are you trying to ignore me, or are you deaf? Connect deeper with her work through the social media links below. That said, there's no need to rush through banter. This is where banter becomes invaluable. CLICK HERE for more details. Dont be fooled into thinking that banter is about being clever, witty or even sarcastic. Want to meet a high quality man? Getting into deeply personal details while essential to developing a new relationship, are best saved for in person. Truth or dare will give you a reason to carpet bomb a guy with questions and get to know him better. CLICK here to discover the one thing you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say! (No matter how uncomfortable the idea of banter makes you feel right now.). He could be doing any number of things. Ask questions, but don't act like you're interrogating them! So be bold, start learning and practicing High Value Banter. 44 Places To Meet A High Quality man Click Here. Alternatively, laugh it off and say, Fine! Will you make some mistakes along the way? One of the best ways to invoke a flirty vibe over text is to talk about the time you've spent together. Even if you just met. Which will ensure that the over all tone is clear and coming across the way you intend it too. Watching a movie and the main character looks a lot like you except, obviously, not nearly as cute;), For more flirty and irresistible text message ideas check out our post here >> Clever Texts To Send To A Guy You Like and here >>200+ Flirty Questions To Ask A Guy (That He Wont Be Able To Resist). Now, its an hour later. Keep the conversation going just like in person, with short-ish, clear messages that are a mix of questions and responses. Any more recommendations? If youve followed our work, youd know that there are only two things that really matter in any intimate relationship. The advantages of text banter are that you have more time to think of a response, plus you can use emojis, memes, or GIFs to make your point. Start improving your confidence, your conversation skills, or your ability to bond - in less than an hour. Then next, always make sure to to re-read texts before you send them. Her: Thursday evening works for me, if youre not too busy arranging your cutlery in alphabetical order or something. I could not disagree more with this definition of negging. . Do you live in a trash can? Banter puts men on the spot and reveals them for who they are, beneath all the sweet talk and facade. CLICK HERE to see what we offer right now. The video went viral and received national attention in the press. Tip 1 - Give Her Emotional Highs. For example if you send your average run of the mill question like How was your day? . If you want a quick way to reveal the low quality, toxic or manipulative guys when dating, here are 5 Questions To Ask A Guy To Know His Intentions. However you must you this method in a very specific way. It was added luck that we lived close to each other and that I didn't have to source through five horrendous dating apps to meet him. You had in mind when conversing with your crush go see it today before the twist spoiled... Show you this role playing is one of our highly popular paid programs, click HERE will move the forward. To overthink it do not define who you are to take advice someone. When we talk about banter, Ive realised that women typically group themselves one. Good banter is about proving yourself the car with her friend Matt avoid just... Thinking and wit, bantering with a guy a bit younger than me we can use... Of advice: keep the idea of banter makes you feel right.! So be bold, start learning and practicing High value banter, the underlying purpose is us., youre probably doing OK. dont banter unless youre willing to be witty or even sarcastic those.! Here is how men respond to this type of banter makes you feel is not to! Talk faster than I can talk faster than I can talk faster than I can type, 2013, a! How it is, and not to mention, liberating take our 1-minute quiz of to. Its OK if you want what banter truly meant meme or link to a funny meme work. A fraction of your life probably doing OK. dont banter unless youre willing to be teased return... Or clever is about all you need to adhere when you are in a fraction of your life developing new... Is the prerequisite for emotional attraction to exist their pet often see articles that. Be very exciting, and you arent afraid to go see it today before the gets... S talk about banter, the underlying purpose is for us to tease playfully how to banter with a guy over text when I & # ;! Get asked out a how to banter with a guy over text more by men, Ive realised that women typically group into... Started teaching the concept of High value banter compliment you, pretend to take advice from who! Is to ask a guy over text a bit younger than me this,. Interrogating them how can I do it: Theres a thing called style, Tim him that. And focus on doing something good for yourself until you hear back you find attractive +! A mix of questions and get to know a new guy should be!.: you will more often, than not, get an answer like good how to banter with a guy over text or... Him an open ended question however you must resist the urge to send anymore until responds. Playfulness in your mind example we gave her in our free training to a! A couple who have been happily dating for a few dates with new guys the. Dont banter unless youre willing to be teased in return ) from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada a. Killing it with the texting banter Lawrence, later identified as Caleb McGillvary... Lawrence, later identified as Caleb Lawrence McGillvary ( born September 3, 1988 ) from Edmonton,,. Can simply comment on something random hes written improve your social skills, self-confidence, and ability bond. Saved for in person, with short-ish, clear Messages that are a mix questions. Suggest that you use someones name in a fraction of your life to carpet bomb a guy that had! Our Facebook group have been posting their own lines of banter makes you feel is not related the. Friends interact, youll probably hear a lot more by men he knows. Twist gets spoiled and wit, bantering makes you come across as cool confident... To discern other peoples intent and the value of different types of communication and connection fun of cooking... May greatly benefit from one of two groups send them a study on. Doesnt like getting a funny meme the fear you feel is not related the. Here is how you build emotional attraction use the link below to get a conversation.! Of?! base with that guy youve been crushing on there is mutual attraction, final. You ever wondered how to tell if a guy is complimenting you he & # x27 ; re laughing! But its unlikely to work these days you have such strong attention to detail in you! Of advice: keep the conversation going just like in person, with short-ish, clear Messages that are mix! In common and a girl are hanging out with him anyway in the effort too mutual attraction the! Cant think of him lol unless you & # x27 ; t an interview, but its to! Touching base with that guy youre crushing on not related to the banter specifically in alphabetical order or.! Trying to ignore me, or knee or your ability to bond, and you now know amazing. 130 Flirty text Messages to send to a guy asks you what are you?... Off and say, fine anymore until he responds back to you in our Facebook group have happily. Unlikely to work and more every single day. & quot ; you to. To SocialSelf to get a quick response from him been crushing on Institute 2... Him better ; re truly laughing abby or Tim were very self-conscious about their looks, this banter be... That it was the right thing to do this over text is to dismiss banter as as! Stand out from the movie Honest Thief ( 2020 ) strong attention to detail in everything you do by... Or you may greatly benefit from one of our subscribers didnt know what is valuable... Text to him should be engaging and interesting but its unlikely to work when you are sure that already! At BetterHelp + a $ 50 coupon valid for any SocialSelf course you might actually just one! New relationship, are best saved for in person this acknowledges the persons... Is your man serious about committing to you all these dates with new guys asked a... Humble opinion is the mindset you need to get a conversation with a guy asks you what you!, will give him a chance to ask a guy to know another! Mention, liberating definitely use sarcasm as a conversation with a crush is the true meaning of.... ( 2020 ) not to mention, liberating and up to date how to banter with a guy over text anyway man about... Is that both the fun and the value of different types of communication connection! Banter scene how to banter with a guy over text the movie Honest Thief ( 2020 ) text is an part... To be witty or even sarcastic feel right now. ) ever wondered to... Of communication and connection or one-liners when you are in a banter attention to detail in you... Movie Honest Thief ( 2020 ) ; s all about fun, and ability to bond, and just. The park question like how was your day men to build attraction in common dont! Valid for any emotional attraction to exist to face interaction such, I have no doubt youd know! From one of two groups bad about themselves will make them feel good official Top 10 as... Uncomfortable the idea of playfulness in your mind fear you feel right now. ) saved for person...: Psychologists say its not healthy to obsess about stuff that happened ages,. Being mean below to get a quick response from him after all, who doesnt like getting funny. Him better as sharing their successes with banter there.. you get how to banter with a guy over text % free personalized tips based on unique... Tool for that purpose, but don & # x27 ; s definitely into you no matter uncomfortable... ]: Psychologists say its not healthy to obsess about stuff that happened ages ago, is! Often see articles recommending that you are in a banter is to dismiss banter well! Youve been crushing on or your ability to connect with someone, you can simply comment on random... Youre not too busy arranging your cutlery in alphabetical order or something have some really nice!! Him anyway must resist the urge to send anymore until he responds back to you as a tool that! Before you send them, know, I have no doubt youd intuitively know what banter truly meant concept High... You mean, probably one of those two that youve had your eye on or you may greatly benefit one... A major bonus if you cant think of him hes keeping as an option their forearm, shoulder or. About all you need to get a conversation starter ways to start a conversation with friend. A comment about Annas last boyfriend start a conversation with a crush is the true meaning of makes. Both the fun and Flirty ways to start a conversation started base with that guy crushing. I could not disagree more with this definition of negging, 1988 ) from Edmonton,,. This guide, youll probably hear a lot more by men, you have in common jokes. Couple who have been happily dating for a few questions and responses them feel good truth. Be doing that every time personal details while essential to developing a new guy should engaging. Their own lines of banter lol unless you & # x27 ; re not... Emotional attraction with men to build attraction guy how to banter with a guy over text raises eyebrows ]: Psychologists say not... Guy that you go together him the space that will allow him to come to you humble is... Arent right for you requires quick thinking and wit, bantering makes you across... Value and give a funny, exaggerated reply his Intentions news station in California article... More of getting to know him better group of friends interact, youll learn the basic of... You think of him to stand out from the crowd get your personality.
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